In the darkness, I could barely make out the sillouette. Shadows criss-crossed to form a perfect camaflouge for such a shady character. My heart pounds, and a chill runs down my spine as I glance through the slits of my squinted eyes at the grifter I was about to go up against.....
How did I get here?
Well, as you can probably guess, it all started with a dame. A high-strung one, at that. She came into my office. I still stand by my conviction that I was just in deep thought, not dozing off... but that's not the point here. The point is, she came into my office at 3 am, and jolted me awake.
As I gave her the lookover, I realized this dame wasn't wearing much clothing. Her wet hair and green towel clearly indicated she had just gotten out of the shower.
They didn't make me head of my department for nothing.
She came in for one reason, and one reason only. She wanted me to tail some guy and bump him off.
I told her she was tooting the wrong ringer. I can't just kill the poor bastard. I was about to show her to door, when she started going on about coming out of the shower and realizing someone had broken in. She said that word on the street was I was a pretty good gumshoe.
I decide to pull up a chair and tell her that she did the right thing in stopping by. I would go over and take care of him. I then asked her for a description of the goon, and when she gave me the rap on how big, foul smelling, and dirty he was, I swallowed an unusually large gulp of saliva. But I kept my cool. This dame was hysterical enough for the both of us.
She led me to the scene of the crime, and I spotted him. Back to where I started:
My heart pounds, and a chill runs down my spine as I glance through the slits of my squinted eyes at the grifter I was about to go up against.....He wiggles his feelers mockingly, knowing he has the advantage of my fear. The dame whimpers behind me, I tell her to shut her trap out of the corner of my mouth.
I size him up, and the bulkiness of his frame makes me gulp again. I freeze. I wasn't as brave as I thought. Would my repulsion save this crook's life? (dum dum dum...)
Not if I could help it! His game was up. This bastard trespassed in the wrong joint. This area was my territory, he had no right to be here, and he would pay. He would pay with his miserable, disgusting life. I would see to that.
The dame turns on the light, but the creep is warned by the sudden flash, and the chase ensues. I run and grab my weapon of choice, Manzana Verde air freshener from the bathroom, and perform a full frontal attack. I am merciless, trigger happy, and scared as hell as the adrenaline pumps through my veins as I pump the sucker full of lead. (actually, it was more like coating the big lug with aroma. But you get the point)
But somehow, he gets away.
The dame grabs her liter bottle of Listerine, and guarantees it'll kill anything. I whistle. She was no weak sister. At this point, I'm worn out, and let the dame try. She douses him with capfuls, and the acrid smell of mouth wash saturates the air.
Suddenly, I am struck by an idea. I grab some Herbel Essence bath gel, and nail the bird in the chest until he hits the floor with The Big Sleep. I watch and make sure he croaks and goes completely stiff. He does. What a chump. I puff out my chest. Nothing to it.
The girl peeks over and sees the body. I figured she's let out a scream like all the dolls do, but this one laughs hysterically, clapping her hands.
What a sick broad.
I decide it's time to beat it, and she says she's got the hook ups to some sap who will clean up the mess tomorrow. She slips me a couple C-notes and bolts.
Here I am now, typing up this lastest escapade, and wondering why the hell I'm still up at 5 in the morning. It's time to smoke some cigs and hit the sack.
Gumshoe Chen, signing out.
How did I get here?
Well, as you can probably guess, it all started with a dame. A high-strung one, at that. She came into my office. I still stand by my conviction that I was just in deep thought, not dozing off... but that's not the point here. The point is, she came into my office at 3 am, and jolted me awake.
As I gave her the lookover, I realized this dame wasn't wearing much clothing. Her wet hair and green towel clearly indicated she had just gotten out of the shower.
They didn't make me head of my department for nothing.
She came in for one reason, and one reason only. She wanted me to tail some guy and bump him off.
I told her she was tooting the wrong ringer. I can't just kill the poor bastard. I was about to show her to door, when she started going on about coming out of the shower and realizing someone had broken in. She said that word on the street was I was a pretty good gumshoe.
I decide to pull up a chair and tell her that she did the right thing in stopping by. I would go over and take care of him. I then asked her for a description of the goon, and when she gave me the rap on how big, foul smelling, and dirty he was, I swallowed an unusually large gulp of saliva. But I kept my cool. This dame was hysterical enough for the both of us.
She led me to the scene of the crime, and I spotted him. Back to where I started:
My heart pounds, and a chill runs down my spine as I glance through the slits of my squinted eyes at the grifter I was about to go up against.....He wiggles his feelers mockingly, knowing he has the advantage of my fear. The dame whimpers behind me, I tell her to shut her trap out of the corner of my mouth.
I size him up, and the bulkiness of his frame makes me gulp again. I freeze. I wasn't as brave as I thought. Would my repulsion save this crook's life? (dum dum dum...)
Not if I could help it! His game was up. This bastard trespassed in the wrong joint. This area was my territory, he had no right to be here, and he would pay. He would pay with his miserable, disgusting life. I would see to that.
The dame turns on the light, but the creep is warned by the sudden flash, and the chase ensues. I run and grab my weapon of choice, Manzana Verde air freshener from the bathroom, and perform a full frontal attack. I am merciless, trigger happy, and scared as hell as the adrenaline pumps through my veins as I pump the sucker full of lead. (actually, it was more like coating the big lug with aroma. But you get the point)
But somehow, he gets away.
The dame grabs her liter bottle of Listerine, and guarantees it'll kill anything. I whistle. She was no weak sister. At this point, I'm worn out, and let the dame try. She douses him with capfuls, and the acrid smell of mouth wash saturates the air.
Suddenly, I am struck by an idea. I grab some Herbel Essence bath gel, and nail the bird in the chest until he hits the floor with The Big Sleep. I watch and make sure he croaks and goes completely stiff. He does. What a chump. I puff out my chest. Nothing to it.
The girl peeks over and sees the body. I figured she's let out a scream like all the dolls do, but this one laughs hysterically, clapping her hands.
What a sick broad.
I decide it's time to beat it, and she says she's got the hook ups to some sap who will clean up the mess tomorrow. She slips me a couple C-notes and bolts.
Here I am now, typing up this lastest escapade, and wondering why the hell I'm still up at 5 in the morning. It's time to smoke some cigs and hit the sack.
Gumshoe Chen, signing out.
posted by Steph at 2:20 AM
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