I smeared two streaks of black across my cheek and tied a length of red cloth across my forehead. My feet were caked with mud and my hair was plastered to my face and neck. I watched as similarly grubby people grappled and swung at each other, until one finally slammed the other onto the ground. A gush of red splashed the bystanders that were huddled around the wrestlers. (it was jello..)

WELcome to the Business School Olympics.

ABSA is split into 3 teams, due to the impressive amount of member participation. I am on the red team, the dragon team. Our cheer:
Hong2 dway4, hong dway4
Tze1 doh4 fu3,
lohng2 dway4, lohng2 dway4
ti1 pi4 gu3!
(red team, red team, eats tofu, dragon team, dragon team, kick pi4 gu3 (ass))

CAUTION:
The following may contain material inappropriate for children under the age of 13
and to my parents and sister who read this.... what can i say. it's colleGe..

We kick off with the Obstacle course. You slide down a slanted hill on tarp covered with dishwashing detergent and water, run across 7 tires, 5 jumping jacks, spin 3 times are a bat, and the best part: Using your face, take out 5 M&M's inside pie tins filled with whipped cream. No hands allowed.
I thought, "heLL no, i'm not putting my face in that"
But there were only 2 girls on each team, and they had to participate. I (incredibly) reluctantly slid down the tarp, ran, etc, etc. But the first time my face touched that whipped cream, I just went crazy. It was like something was unleashed, and I was half buried in that sucker, gulping and spitting. I finished with a rush of adreneline. Perhaps this 'dirty' theme wasn't so bad after all.

The comes Jello wrestling - in which we asians got our asses kicked by big (and i mean, biG) white guys. they tied your ankles together, stand you in a kiddie pool of red cherry jello and first one down loses. Damn, the yelling and screaming and hooting only prove to me that no matter hoW advanced we've gotten, we are all just barbarians underneath.

sexual pancake - 6 members, pink and blue butter, syrup, jelly, and the dirtiest positions you can get the group in. Points for messiness and sexiness. You can let your imagination wander as in what positions there were. The judge seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly.
I walked by Team 4 (an absa team), and Sarah had Emily straddled across her face whiLe standing up... damn, guys.

storming normandy - Team A storms the field and hides under tarp covered tables, trying to throw 2 rocks (per person) into a cooler that lies in front of enemy lines, in which Team B is armed with water balloons and egg yolks (don't ask). Those who get hit are out; teams switch and those with most rocks in cooler wins. Water and yellow good splash both sides, and we all leave just a little more sticky than before. We actually win this round

Banana.. peeling.. and eating.. - Banana between legs, people take turns taking it to the other side with the banana clinched between their thighs. Oh. and there's a, uh, contraceptive on it. Team mates take turns peeling off the .. rubber covering.. and peeling the banana, then eating it.
Props to timMY (i think?) for diving between Joe's legs and going at that banana like a starved animal. Joe yelled encouragement the whole time...which worries me..

human sundae - This, must be described in detail.
First I'd like to say, daMN Joe is dirty and gets waY into these games. He spreads himself like a centerfold on a picnic table, in anticipation of the whipped cream, chocolate syrup, cherries, nuts and choco chips that are about to be slathered on his body. Points for creativity and .. dirtyness (both definitions). )Now that he says he's gonna read this, i must add that it was all in good fun and none of us are really thaT bad.)
Joe begins hooting and moaning, and Tim's face once again finds Joe's .. banana area. Shanna and i are the only girls, and she doesn't seem too into the dirty thing, and i figure, hell we're gonna win somEthing at this damn olympic event. I straddle on top and help with the smearing, TC (ha haha - aren't you glad I wrote this) goes spread eagle and cradles Joe's head in his lap. I would like to say that TC later admitted to enjoying the sensation greatly.
Shanna and jerry pour on the whipped cream and syrup. The judge is watching the process too, so joe screams and moans like there's no tomorrow as we smear stuff on him. Alas, the judge doesn't seem to be giving us enough attention, so jerry crouches behind tim's .. rear... Jerry does some spraying motion thing with the whipped cream and I start smearing the chocolate and loudly (so they say) asking Joe who his bitch is.
The judge's head snaps.
By now we are drenched in chocolate and whipped cream, and the grinding and smearing seems to be earning us points. She looks surprised, then disgusted, then basically tells us we win, natch.

It's about timE we start winning..

Next is twister, only you get to throw flour and confetti eggs and water balloons at the opposing team's representative. The three players come out of that completely covered in flour, the pink and blue butter, syrup, and jello from earlier events turning their bodies into quite a pretty sight. We all try to rinse off, but the water only makes us colder. It was cloudy and windy, and we all shivered and took turns throwing the remaining ammo from past events at each other.
The top four teams compete in tug of war to place, and our team actually gets 5th. Not bad, I guess. So we didn't reaLLy win anything.
But all in all, it was quite an interesting way to spend a Sunday.