Don't you ever wish there was just one person in your life that would remain constant?
I mean, you have many different types of friends; friends you complain to about school, or family, girls to gossip about relationships, friends to talk about the deeper philosophical stuff, etc, etc. boyfriends come and go, family is good for backing you up, but no one person contains all the elements: constant loyalty - sincere caring - and understanding of how you feel.
sometimes it seems you're stuck in the middle of a whirlwind, and everything's going on around you, and you just want a fucking anchor to keep you sane.
I guess everyone wants that. One person to understand. Everytime you think you find one, they go away. Else they don't understand, but are willing to listen. That's nice, but sometimes that's not enough.
I've never been able to be totally honest with anyone. jenn and zara, remember how you guys would say how you stopped telling me things in high school because I would listen and give advice, but I never revealed anything?
I don't know why. I just don't.
When you need it most, and are feeling the most lost (but try not to show it, of course), the people you thought were the closest to you just don't understand or desert you.

Yeah, I seem happy and aggressive and content most of the time. And maybe I'm PMS-y, but I feel like I've suddenly been hit with that whirlwind and don't have anything to hold on to.
I don't like burdening people. One of the reasons I just don't spill all. I go insane just analyzing it myself, how can I impede on someone else?
You say, yeah, blah blah. I'm there for you.
You're not really. Humans are selfish people. I would know. I am one
If I were to totally open up, you'd tune out, or not understand, or just go away.

I psychoanalyze other people.
You know who psychologists need their own psychologist too?
If mine is out there, I'd appreciate an appointment sometime in the near future. I'm about to lose it.