I was in a bad mood for half the day today. I don't know why. I was feeling really down about the whole Christmas thing. For one, I'm usually all pumped up with Christmas spirit, but with the exception for a few days in November, I haven't been at all.
Christmas is just a time when you have to buy gifts that you spend all these time thinking of and shopping for, only to give to a person who A) doesn't like the gift half as much as you thought they would've or B) didn't get you anything and now curses you for making them socially obligated to get you one in return. Or, even worse, you don'T get someone something because you think they wouldn't want to get you anything, and then they give you something, and then you're screwed.
I feel everything is so damn commercialized now - we grudgingly put up lights 'because everyone else in the neighborhood had,' we don't have a tree, it's rainy and grey, instead of our annual big family Christmas party it's just a small dinner (which is not bad - it'll be good food)... but stilll... no little cousins running around, no karen judy michael! not enough people!
*sigh* oH how I long for days of tradition and snow, glowing fireplaces and gaggles of carolers, gatherings of close kin, muffled laughter against a background of Christmas CDs as old as I am... Ok, so that's not how it really was. I was feeling melancholy & melodramtic, k?
Anyways, I ate some good food and did some shopping (I would like to say I think I am officially done.. Thank GoD) and spent a long time at Barnes and Nobles. We read comic strips on the floor. I saw Gene there, who was with a pretty girl, but as I did the eyebrow raise thing, and knowing grin and gave him a silent thumbs up, he said (out louD - good job, gene.. geez) "No, no.. she's not mine." hahaha. anyways, I thought it was pretty funny. whatever you say gene... but I think it's nice you and Joe don't have an exclusive relationship.. shows real open-mindedness.
As david and I were leaving B&N, however, the generators hummed several times and the lights went out in the whole store. It was so cool. It happened twice! yeah.. that's the highlight of my day.. sad, huh? anyways, when I looked outside, I realized it was pouRINg. Rainy, windy, and incredibly cold. There was a bunch of women huddled in the front door waiting for their stalwart men to venture out against the elements and bravely bring the car around.
I feel a bit better about the Christmas thing now. I think I was just stressing over buying stuff and hopefully I'll be able to enjoy tomorrow! I need some Christmas music. And gifts! I thought I didn't need anything.. but after buying all this stuff.. gimMIe gimmIE gimmIE! Maybe a bunch of things I don't need wrapped up all pretty-like is juSt the thing to get me over the crappiness that is me feeling I can't shake. Knowing me, I'll be all giddy by tomorrow. Maybe I'll baKE!