They weren't kidding when they said that all business students have no soul; we gave it up when we entered the business school.
The mockingly reverential 'Family Statue' that towers in front of our Business School was erected to remind us what is important in life - I laugh at the irony, and at the sad fact that we need to be reminded.
All my extracurricular activities and all but one of my classes now take place at the business school. As I spend more and more time wandering the shiny hallways, passing the luxurious offices, and typing at my 20'' flat panel in the mil lab, I realize that:
The Business School is the Epitome of Sin
Gluttony
As you walk in the Atrium, the indeniably bewitching smell of over-priced coffee in fancy cups seduces you and draws you unwillingly to the kiosk. As you fight your urges to indulge in the legally addictive stimulent that speeds up your heart rate and stains your teetch, you are assaulted by the warm scent of greasy meat frying in slabs and oily fries salting in batches. I had to bite my lip and close my eyes to escape to the millenium lab.
Vanity
I am not kidding when I say in general, business students look better, carry themselves better, and dress better than all the other colleges.
If you disagree, you're probably an engineer. If you disagree and are not an engineer, start in the business school and walk towards the engineers. Notice the undeniable increase in pimples, shaggy hair, funky glasses, and lack of taste.
Disclaimer: There aRE exceptions.
We are vain. I am vain. But shut up, we look better.
Envy
'Why the hell did she get the job. I am so much more qualified.'
'He's the president this year? You've got to be joking.'
'You know that Armani suit came straight out of daddy's pocketbook.'
As much as everyone else envies us, we envy each other more.
Wrath
Simply because there are so many more reasons for us to get angry.
Theatre&Dance: "Dammit I keep projecting subtle hostility when I'm going for supressed resentment!"
EE: "Why the hell won't my oscilloscope work?"
English/Literature: "Oh why didn't Cathering profess her undying love for Heathcliff??"
Chem E: "Shit I mixed my solutions again! WHO stole my molecule kit?!"
It doesn't work.
Lust
Last weekend's Business Council Retreat:
1. Start with one hundred hormone infused twenty year olds.
2. Cram into tiny cabins in a remote hick town.
3. Eliminate all regards for the law, societal standards and adult supervision.
4. Throw in a cold front.
5. Pile on beer, trash can punch, and booty music.
Now 1+2+3+4+5 = Pheremones in cold night air, random make-out fests, obscene gyrations to profane music for 'body heat', and narcoleptic symptoms => coed siestas.
Greed: Need I say more?
Sloth
Now now, with all the bad things I've admitted about the business school, you gotta admit, we do work hard.
hahahahaha.
but really. It's not as easy as it looks. Try getting an engineer to lead a meeting or *gasp* talk to a girl.
Damn that took a long time.
I'm hungry.
Ima get me a burger and a jug of coffee.
peaCe.
The mockingly reverential 'Family Statue' that towers in front of our Business School was erected to remind us what is important in life - I laugh at the irony, and at the sad fact that we need to be reminded.
All my extracurricular activities and all but one of my classes now take place at the business school. As I spend more and more time wandering the shiny hallways, passing the luxurious offices, and typing at my 20'' flat panel in the mil lab, I realize that:
The Business School is the Epitome of Sin
Gluttony
As you walk in the Atrium, the indeniably bewitching smell of over-priced coffee in fancy cups seduces you and draws you unwillingly to the kiosk. As you fight your urges to indulge in the legally addictive stimulent that speeds up your heart rate and stains your teetch, you are assaulted by the warm scent of greasy meat frying in slabs and oily fries salting in batches. I had to bite my lip and close my eyes to escape to the millenium lab.
Vanity
I am not kidding when I say in general, business students look better, carry themselves better, and dress better than all the other colleges.
If you disagree, you're probably an engineer. If you disagree and are not an engineer, start in the business school and walk towards the engineers. Notice the undeniable increase in pimples, shaggy hair, funky glasses, and lack of taste.
Disclaimer: There aRE exceptions.
We are vain. I am vain. But shut up, we look better.
Envy
'Why the hell did she get the job. I am so much more qualified.'
'He's the president this year? You've got to be joking.'
'You know that Armani suit came straight out of daddy's pocketbook.'
As much as everyone else envies us, we envy each other more.
Wrath
Simply because there are so many more reasons for us to get angry.
Theatre&Dance: "Dammit I keep projecting subtle hostility when I'm going for supressed resentment!"
EE: "Why the hell won't my oscilloscope work?"
English/Literature: "Oh why didn't Cathering profess her undying love for Heathcliff??"
Chem E: "Shit I mixed my solutions again! WHO stole my molecule kit?!"
It doesn't work.
Lust
Last weekend's Business Council Retreat:
1. Start with one hundred hormone infused twenty year olds.
2. Cram into tiny cabins in a remote hick town.
3. Eliminate all regards for the law, societal standards and adult supervision.
4. Throw in a cold front.
5. Pile on beer, trash can punch, and booty music.
Now 1+2+3+4+5 = Pheremones in cold night air, random make-out fests, obscene gyrations to profane music for 'body heat', and narcoleptic symptoms => coed siestas.
Greed: Need I say more?
Sloth
Now now, with all the bad things I've admitted about the business school, you gotta admit, we do work hard.
hahahahaha.
but really. It's not as easy as it looks. Try getting an engineer to lead a meeting or *gasp* talk to a girl.
Damn that took a long time.
I'm hungry.
Ima get me a burger and a jug of coffee.
peaCe.
posted by Steph at 10:38 AM
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