Things you'd love to say out loud at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s**t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
10. Ahhh...I see the know-it-all fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a &#!t;.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
21. You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking your a** in the parking lot.
28. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
36. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

I personally like #6

E-mails from bored co-workers are the highlight of my day...